The English language continuously evolves. Sadly, this means that worthy words from times of yore frequently make way for things like “LOL” and “blogosphere.” Here are 7 mostly retired words I’d like to see back in the ring:
starch – Not the stuff you put on a collar or avoid while on Atkins, this means toughness, chutzpah, and sheer balls. Actually a pleasant replacement for overused terms synonymous with “testicular fortitude.” She’s got a lot of starch, bringing a bucket of KFC to an anorexia support group.
pantaloons – “Pants” is a funny word, but it’s got nothing on pantaloons. Technically these are a kind of tights, but given that slim jeans are back in style, I think we can stretch the definition. If he doesn’t shut up about Kings of Leon, I’m going to kick him right in his designer pantaloons.
spifflicated – A popular term from the 20s meaning to get bombed, plastered, lit, and heavily intoxicated. Remember that it’s “spiff-licated”, not “spliff-icated,” which is an entirely different sort of intoxication. I tried to get into the jazz bar down the street, but the bouncer said I was already spifflicated and gave me the bum’s rush.
bully to that – Synonymous with “cheers for that,” “good idea,” “I agree,” and “I think Teddy Roosevelt was awesome.” A nice term with a masculine air to it. He told me that after the face-punching contest, we were going to drink whiskey until we’re so drunk we’re sober again, and I said bully to that!
fisticuffs – A gentlemanly term for trading punches. Like other fancy words, it makes getting into a drunken brawl sound high-class and almost respectable. There’s nothing like savoring a little of the old fisticuffs on Monday Night Raw.
greenhorn – In the parlance of our times, a “noob.” Just imagine if kids playing Unreal Tournament started inserting this term into their streams of badly-spelled profanity. Quit hogging the rocket launcher, greenhorn, you keep blowing yourself up!
hubbub – This word describes the aforementioned streams of badly-spelled profanity and other meaningless noise. Perhaps best used by Bugs Bunny when he asked a bomb-pounding Gremlin “What’s all the hubbub, bub?” That’s an awful lot of hubbub for the “small gathering” our keg-carrying upstairs neighbors said they were having.
What words do you think should be back in the common lexicon? Comment below!
i’m going to try to bring back moxie. or gumption.
I think knickers as in; “don’t get your knickers in a snit.” Come to think of it – snit can be resucitated too!